Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
