she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
