i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
