His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
