that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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