Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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