ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
