I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
