Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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