I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
