So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
