you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So much rum. So many feels.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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