I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
