Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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