Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
