he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
