just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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