I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
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