it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I deserve this hangover.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
