I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
