trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
