So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What a dumb baby whore.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
