There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
