; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
