Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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