I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i love accidental penises.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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