If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Fuck appropriateness.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
