I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize