I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
