We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
