Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
