dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
