He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
