No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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