I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
