okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize