Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
