I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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