I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there was a trapeze. enough said
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize