at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
