When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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