yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
