i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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