Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
