The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
