Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize