Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
