Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
