No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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