Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
