Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
