Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
