Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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