It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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