I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
