seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
