ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Boobs speak an international language.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
